Keeping on

Moving forward,

because backwards had been

taken.

One foot in front of the other,

because running backwards

slams  into  oak trees.

Breathing deep,

exhailing long

and low…

In-hailing on an ex-hail

chokes itself…

Change swirls through blue cloudings.

Clouded vision refocuses itself

from left on right.

Images grow near farther away,

expanding vertigo close by.

Traveling to family by train…

I took Amtrak on a long ride, for the first time.  My very first Amtrak train ride was to Hudson, N. Y.  It was a good trip to visit a cool friend.  They even had a fireman’s parade that day, I didn’t know there was going to be one.

Anyway.  I took the Amtrak to Charlotte, N. C.  My little sister (Anita) was graduating High School.  I hadn’t seen any of my siblings in about two years.  I saw my mother last year- when she came to visit me. 

I was excited.  The trip started off  a little stressful because I didn’t expect the higher price at the ticketing area.  I thought the price I saw online the week before would still be available, now I know that when you see a cheap price put your credit card in there and just get it.   

It was quicker than the bus, though a bit more expensive.  It was still a cramped situation. The whole thing would have been enjoyable if the attendants had enforced the use of headphones for some of the other passengers.  For what ever reason some people don’t feel they should use headphones.  I don’t want to hear the moaning of your sex video or the screams from your horror movie.  I don’t even want to hear your ring jam on your phone; let alone your phone conversations. 

The attendants didn’t even ask these people to turn it down, at least.  It would have been nice to see an attempt at not disturbing the other riders.  They do that on the bus.  They will throw you off if you get snippy about it.  My ticket was way too expensive- to me-  to be subjected to the whims of others who want to share the fact that they have a computer/dvd player. 

I had hoped that the return ride would be better.  It started off, though I barely made it to the train, good.  The seating on this train was more spacious.  It began quiet enough, but the last leg (again)- after Washington, DC- became annoying, because a family wanted to sit three to two chairs and watch a profane/violent movie as loud as they could.  Of course the attendants said nothing- one of them even went to watch it for a while.

50+degrees

Breezes formed fresh vibrations on the

fibers in my

-newly-unclogged ears.

What is not seen has sound

softly stroking drums

beating wisps.

Sun swept clouds through

-aquatic strokes.

Breathing was full of

-aromatic clashings of reverberations.

Smell never fails to taste

-the unknown.

Nothing doing

I have no poem for you now.

I have nothing to inspire…

I am inspired to see, watch, and be.

I see poetry in that which flies about me.

Seagulls and ravens fluttering and fighting over scraps of bread

thrust from an old person’s window;

standing high in that building

they see not the territory fight…

Then the sparrows come in…

I watch the poetry of the river’s flow

Melted ice swells above with below.

I am poetry with every breath…

thoughts are becoming in me

finding their way in a phrase that stays in my mind

or is expressed in form on screen or in ink…

Chocolate

Rename a space systematically erased

chocolate

creamy, dark, and milk

hazelnut and peanut blended

warm caramel-o

chocolate flavored

brown skin is so in…

Reshape a figure formed by caste mirgration and blending

immeasurable amounts of cream, sugar and spice

wiped, beaten and baked into flesh

A moment on the lips

life times expanding hips…

Chocolate

Reformation building cities uncivilized through mass labor

bodies steel remain beneath the concrete…

The masses sweep…

past reminds present by the full richness of your flavored skin…

rich deep chocolate caramel honey creamed…

I Smile

I smile

When I hear the words “President Obama”

I smile

To myself

At myself

With the world

When I see the words and the man

“President Obama”

I smile

I chuckle

I am in awe

With the world

When I hear the words “First Lady-Michelle Obama”

I grin

My lips curl over my cheeks

Something deep within

Vibrates with the world.

 

 

 

Listening to NPR, and the first 100 hours of the new administration, keeps me quiet. I find myself more aware, because I am hoping for the safety of this new beacon. There is an ideal being created. There is an ideal shining a light on the falsehood that so many have lived with and under, and yet I wonder if those who need to see and hear are paying attention.

I am not buying up too much of the “memorabilia” that is being over produced with the face of President Obama. I don’t feel the need. I know where my faith is. I don’t need a false idol. I don’t need a cross as a reminder; I know.

So much of a part of me (so) hopes for his, and his families, safety. They are changing the world daily. That is a great responsibility. That is a great power. I’m glad they are the vision of excellence being projected forward. And while this is so, I am not surprised. He is the son of a King, after all.

We have gone from the Huxetables to the Obamas as icons of the potential of black Americans. I have to say I am proud and overwhelmed with joy. There are still moments when it seems dream like.

It all just makes me want to achieve my full abilities. I have been lacking and lax, due to depression and wander-lust. The trick has been trying to find out how to jump on the bus to where I want to be, from the place I have found myself.

I have dreams and ideas. The problem is that that is how they feel. Dreams so palpable. Ideas so textural. These things should exist on this plane.

What is holding me back? The idea that money is a necessary item in order to put the wheels in motion. Without the finances I am stuck. Being stuck continues to allow me the crutch of procrastination, and an unfulfilling situation.

How do I get out? All I know is the wait and see reflexes of the past. I have an idea of going back to college, but I would prefer to have the money instead of going into debt.

People have said that it is debt that is justified/will pay off in the end. If I hadn’t seen the contrary in some of my friends and past acquaintances, I wouldn’t be so skeptical.  A part of me needs more than a certain debt and an uncertain potential to express what I have learned; either with an outlet or with a job. 

I can make reasonable excuses all day, if you give the chance. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am just wasting time and opportunities. So, how do I catch that bus?

Epiphany through fiction

While reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” I had a since of a socially aware “aha” moment.

The book itself turned out to be really good work of fiction. After getting through the first two chapters of eerie coincidence (regarding corporate corruption and the like…), and getting into social commentary on abuse of women–mystery–and psychological derangement [without being preachy], I couldn’t put it down. One had to know what was coming next and how…

It wasn’t until the last few chapters that a few statements rang out, like so much in the book, and spoke directly to the state of things in the national news…:

“’You have to distinguish between two things–the … economy and the … stock market. The … economy is the sum of all the goods and services that are produced in this country everyday. There are…(cars, livestock, exports…)… That’s the… economy, and it’s just as strong or weak today as it was a week ago.’”Reading those passages I got a small chill. I had to reread it, because like I said it was an “aha” moment. It made me wonder and it made me think.

There’s a new book out called “The man who owns the news” [there‘s no need to name names, we know who he is]. There’s talk in the “conservative right” media that there is too much “liberal” media. [Basically media that questions: corporations/the government/religion, etc; what media should do… but has scaled back on of late… And which they (the “conservative right“) would prefer no one do…] News rooms are scaling back and investigative journalism is being drained of blood. [These days the journalists doing investigative work have to get a book deal advancement to break a story.] And NPR is doing all it can to not drop the ball, but it’s up against the FCC [which is/about to be owned by “the man who owns the news”]…

After the “financial fallout”, and all, we need more questions asked and answered. It is because no one was watching the front and back door that we are where we are today. To allow corporate entities not to be held accountable or have no oversights in place was asking for them to rob/rape/steal and destroy people and their families.

The question now is: will the media be the watch-dog it once was and ask the questions that the government won’t?; will the government put things in order and hold these people accountable, and not allow them to lobby for future lax behavior on policies?; or will things go back to the status quo?

No one really wants “…time to tell.” We want things to change for the better and not be allowed to be sold out to the highest bidder, at the expense of “the people”…

As I finish this short essay, the new year is here and a new president will be taking office in a week. “Times they are a changing”… It’s a historic time in the U.S.A. Let us hope we don’t forget how far we have come, and how far we have yet to go. The economy is still in the news, and the media is still using the “depression” era as the model for the present state of the economy. [Something I wish they would stop doing.]

“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” was a good, insightful and thought provoking work that commented on the state of affairs that we have been facing for a while. I hope others who read it come away with their own “aha” moments; and be the change that is needed for the future progression of the nation and the peoples of the world.

 

 

“’The Stock Exchange is something very different. There is no economy and no production of goods and services. There are only fantasies in which people from one hour to the next decide that this or that company is worth so many billions, more or less. It doesn’t have a thing to do with reality or with the … economy.’”

“’… They’re the ones who are systematically and perhaps deliberately damaging the… economy in order to satisfy the profit interests of their clients.’”

“’… the media do have an enormous responsibility. … many… reporters have refrained from scrutinizing… … they have actually helped [them]… by publishing brainless, idolatrous portraits. If they had been doing their work properly, we would not find ourselves in this situation today.’”-(pg. 453-454)